Truth or Dare Alice style
by SevenDayLoan
Summary: the title explains it all. Truth or dare with the cullens plus jacob.
1. renesmee

Truth or Dare?

**I don't own Twilight. =( **

29 years after Breaking Dawn

Nessie is a full grown adult, (18) and will stay that way

**Bella POV**

"I AM BRILLIANT!" Alice screamed loudly from upstairs. "FAMMILLY MEETING!

DAMN! Well, maybe Alice won't notice if I skimp out on this one.

"AND YES BELLA IT IS MANDATORY!"

Crap. Wasn't Edward supposed to be the stupid mind reader in this house?

I trudged up the stairs, going barley faster than human speed.

Alice was at the top, grinning at me manically.

It was creepy. It meant something was coming.

Once everyone was gathered where she wanted, she dropped the bomb.

"WE ARE PLAYING… TRUTH OR DARE!!"

I groaned. Last time we played Alice style Truth or Dare two years ago, it ended up with me making out with Mike Newton. Edward… Well…. Edward kind of tried to rip poor Mike's limbs apart….

"WHO IS GOING FIRST? ANYONE? OK ME." Alice sang, obviously delighted that she chose herself.

"Nessie. I dare you to heavily flirt with Paul's kid Greg while Jacob is watching."

Nessie gasped while I snickered. How was "her" Jacob going to take that?

"Fine." Nessie pouted. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to like it."

At the La Push beach

Greg, (who looks like a less hot Michael Copon) obviously thought Nessie was hot. Jacob was eying Greg who was getting closer to Nessie, trying to make a move.

"So, Greg… Where did you get so… tan?" Nessie blushed furiously as her fingers traced the lines of his chiseled chest.

Jacob looked dumbstruck as Greg's eyes light up like a kids on Christmas morning.

"Uh…" He stammered. "You look uh… hot as always I guess."

Jacob looked more furious by the second. I didn't need Edward to tell me he was debating ripping Greg's lungs out.

"Why…Thank you. Do you want…um…. To buy me a drink?"

Wow, Nessie was good at this. If she cut out the ums and pauses at least.

That was it for Jacob. He leapt at Greg, foaming at the mouth.

"Holy CRAP!" Emmett yelled, "Lets get out of here before anyone notices we were part of this."

Haha, that was short but the next chap nessie dares bella to do something that might put her over.


	2. alice

I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT!!! =D

Alice POV

"MARY ALICE CULLEN!" Renesmee shouted, "YOU SUCK SO BAD! GREG'S PROBABLY DEAD!"

"Nah." I snorted, "He's not dead…. He's in a coma. There IS a difference Nessie."

Renesmee sighed and lied down on the bed. "So it's my turn right?"

"Yup-see-doodles!" I squealed and bounced around the room, excited.

"Alice." Renesmee said menacingly. "Truth… OR… Dare?"

"DARE!" I giggled and waited for my request.

"I dare you… to lick some old guy's feet and tell him you're his slave FOR LIFE!!!"

I stared. No way. No way. NO WAY!!! Some old people have WARTS on their feet for God's sake!

"Let's get this over with…" I grumbled as we walked out of the house.

Then I saw him. An old man. Wait, not old. Ancient.

Please don't have warts on feet, please don't have warts on feet!

"Hey little youngster!" The man called. Ha, I could be his mother. "How would you like to take a trip to my place!"

Nessie waggled her eyebrows at me, and I grimaced.

"Sure." I said sweetly. "By the way, I AM YOUR SLAVE FOR LIFE!"

He stared at me. Poor old guy. Maybe he would have heart failure and die.

Edward rolled his eyes. Ugh. Bella was so lucky she didn't have to share her thoughts.

"OK THEN!" The man yelled. "NOW… LETS GET A ROOM!"

"Sure." I said, resisting the urge to gag. "But first…"

"What is it Slave?" He said impatiently.

"I WANT TO LICK YOUR FEET!" Holy Poo! Did I just say that out loud!

He looked surprised, but then excited.

"Well, that's a first." He said as he peeled off his socks.

I looked at my family anxiously. All of them, especially Emmett, was trying hard not to laugh and ruin the show.

Oh. My. God.

How can you have acne on your freakin' feet? Well, this guy did. And toe hair. And some kind of waxy thing. Well, at least he didn't have war- OH CRAP THERE ARE LIKE 1000 WARTS ON THIS GUYS TOE!"

I leaned down and licked his feet.

He shivered and giggled. Oh dear God, I was going to need some therapy.

After another agonizing 5 seconds of licking his disgusting warty feet, I was free.

We all ran to the back of a warehouse, where Emmett just about busted a gut.

"Oh man!" He cried, "You- wart- lick- HAHAHAHAH!" He was "dying" of laughter.

"Emmett." I said slowly. "Truth or Dare."


	3. emmett

Truth or dare chapter 3

Emmett POV

"EEK!" I squealed, while Rosalie rolled her eyes. "TRUTH!"

Alice watched me menacingly. "Truth it is. Truth it is."

"Have you ever thought any chic was hotter than Rosalie?"

Oh Crap. Well, not a human chic.

"No." I answered smugly, while Rosalie smirked.

"Have you ever thought any VAMPIRE chic was hotter than Rosalie?"

Double Crap. Well, Bella was pretty hot. Edward glared at me, probably trying to light me on fire with his eyes. Cree-py.

"A few." I said quietly. Rosalie growled.

"Who?" Alice stared at me.

"Tanya, *gulp* Bella, *gulp* Alice, Irina, Kate, Carmen, Jane, (list goes on)

**Bella POV**

When Alice asked Emmett to name some chic's he had dirty thoughts about, he practically named every female vampire in the history of vampires!

Rosalie all about died.

"Emmett…McCarty…Cullen…"

Man, I feel bad for the guy. All of the volturi is better than Psycho Rose.

As of now, she is assaulting him with a pitchfork.

While Emmett was dry sobbing, "STOP! PLEASE! I'M SORRY! YOU ARE SOO GORGEOUS! AND SMART!", I was looking on, staring in to Edward's eyes.

Edward was so- "BELLA TRUTH OR DARE!" yelled Emmett.

Ugh.

"Ed-ward!" I whined. "What if Emmett makes me give some guy a lap dance?"

Edwards eyes tightened. "I'll ask him about that, but first, EMMETT STOP THINKING DIRTY THOUGHTS ABOUT BELLA!"

My eyes widened in surprise. "Really? He was?"

"No. I just want to see Rose beat him up more."

A few hours later, Emmett staggered down to us.

"So… Bella…. Truth or Dare?"


	4. bella

Chapter 4

Bella

Bella POV

Oh hot damn. Emmett? Oh god. If I said truth I would look weak, and if I said dare I would look cocky. Eh, what could he do? Dare.

"Dare." I said smugly.

Edward POV

Aw, crap. Crappity crap crap crap.

I knew what Emmett was planning. Unfourtenutly.

Nessie POV

"Bella, you are going to get drunk and strip at Treasures!"

Holy effing mother of poop.

_Flashback_

_We did not handle alcohol well…at all… one sip and we are drunk as hell. _

"_WOOOOO!" Bella yelled as she danced on the table of a bar._

_Edward looked mortified as my mom threw her top on the floor._

"_EDWARD!" She cried, as one of the more handsome guys started dancing with her._

"_I'm LEAVING you for a RHINO! HEAR THAT?" She continued marching around. Pretty much everyone in my family was drunk at this point but me and Edward._

Ahhhhhh those memories will scar me!

I snapped out of it, and realized my dad must have seen it too. He was horrified, obviously, as Rosalie sniggered and led us to Treasures.

Double Holy Effing Mother of Poop.

Bella POV

Treasures was so gross. I can't believe I was "stripping" here at midnight.

If Emmett knows one thing, it's that I am, well, not great with alcohol. Maybe Alice and I are tied, but that is not a good thing. No.

Emmett said he wanted me to start at 11:30 PM, so we hung out outside until then.

**11:30**

"I DON"T WANNA GO!" I pouted as Emmett pulled me into the gross club.

"Too bad, little sister." Emmett said meanly. "You shouldn't have picked dare."

I was lead-…no dragged into the bar.

Two men wolf-whistled when they saw my lack of a proper outfit.

I was wearing fishnets, a panty hose and a bra.

Alice.

Emmett grinned at me.

"Would you like a shot, Bella?"

"Fine." I said slowly as I took a sip of the shot. Heh heh.

Then everything went blurry.

Edward POV

As soon as MY BELLA took a sip of the shot, you could see it. The tipsiness of her movements, the slur of her words.

So Emmett handed her another, which she happily accepted.

And one more.

And soon she was pantyhose-less, dancing on a pole.

I was furious, and Renesmee's thoughts told me she was "scarred for life once more."

Then, I saw a familiar face in the crowd of perverted drunk men.

Could it be? No. Yes. No. YES?

Mike Newton?


	5. edward

Truth or Dare Alice Style… EDWARD!

Edward POV

Why in hell is MIKE NEWTON watching BELLA strip?

Mike was in his 40's now, and was nerdy as ever.

Skinny, still with weird hair.

Were those liver spots on his hands? Alice would freak, heh heh.

_Look at that girls body! What I wouldn't give for a hit on her! _

WHO JUST THOUGHT THAT ABOUT BELLA?

_Mmm…mmmm I want her tonight! Bit pale, but smoking!_

Oh, they will pay.

I looked around frantically until I found the source.

Mike Newton.

I walked over to him as casually as I was able.

"Hey- Mike? How's it going BUDDY?" I slapped him on the back. Hard.

He flew forward and whimpered a bit.

"Uh… Fine. You haven't changed one bit, Cullen."

_Mind if I take your girlfriend for a little walk to my place?_

I snarled, even though he thought the question.

"You know what , Newton? Let's have a good old fashioned fist fight. Whoever wins gets Bella. Forever."

"Works for me, CULLEN!"

"It starts…. NOW."

Newton threw a punch at my gut and screamed in agony. He blinked back tears and threw another punch at my chin. He couldn't hold back the tears this time.

I kicked him in the nuts one last time and I heard a satisfying, CRUNCH!

Ha Ha.

Rosalie POV

After Bella's weird night, (emphasis WEIRD, she rode on Alice around the parking lot, and Edward killed Newton) we all drove to Dairy Queen. I don't know why… Bella was driving.

Bella badly wanted to get sundaes for some reason.

"But- But- I want dem!" Bella cried at Edward loudly.

"Uh… I'm sorry love, but we don't eat… remember?"

"EDDDWWAAARD! I WANT ONE! I WA-A-NT ONE NOW!"

"I'm sorry Bella." Edward said softly.

"I'm sorry Bella." Bella mimicked with her hand.

I snickered. Bella could be awesome drunk as hell.

"Hey Eddie!" Bella cried evilly. "Since you're being a sour puss, TRUTH OR DARE?"

Edward POV

"_Hey Eddie!" Bella cried. "Since you're being a sour puss, TRUTH OR DARE?"_

Oh no. Oh no.

_Ha! Got to love my lil' sis! (Emmett)_

_DISTURBIA IS LIKE A DARKNESS IN THE NIGHT! (alice)_

"EDWARD I WANT YOU… GET ME A SUNDAE!"

What the hell? There had to be a catch.

"AND…"

Here it came

"GET HORNY!"

Oh no.


	6. Jasper

Edward POV

The first part of the dare was easy, almost ridicuolously so. Buy her a sundae? What the hell? I walked into a Dairy queen, preparing for the worst, hoping for the best.

The woman behind the counter stared at me in amusment.

"Whaddya want, hot stuff?" She winked, I gagged.

_Oooh look at the BOOTY on datta one!_

"Um, I'll have the chocolate mint blizzard please."

_Okay, okay. Look at his eyes! I bet he wants a gal like me!_

Suddenly, Rosalie walked in, her eyes alight.

_Ooh, Edward! Jasper is gonna lust you up!_

"CRAAAPP!" I moaned to Rosalie. "Oh, COME ON!"

"Ha!" Rosalie laughed. "Dream on. I'm with Bella!"

THAT LITTLE….. UGH!

"Excuse me?" The woman at the counter said slowly, "Your… Blizzard?"

"Fine." I said angrily. She looked at me strangley and handed over the ice cream.

_Weird, but HOT! Weird but hot…._

As I left with my blizzard, shaking my head angrily I felt it. Overwhelmingly powerful waves of lust. I glared at Jasper. Did he really think I would do something right here? In front of my daughter and my wife? No no no. He was going to have to try harder.

_WHOOSH!_

Even more powerful waves of lust hit me. I staggered, as a lightning bolt hit me between my legs. Why was I, uh…., picturing everyone, naked?

What the hell?

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.

_I'm going to tell Bella to take her top off! (Rosalie, obviously.)_

I growled. COME ON GUYS! Ow, ow, ow my crotch.

I watched, mesmerized as Bella slowly took her blue tank top off, and threw it behind her.

Oh my fricking God. She... was not wearing, uh, a breast container.

Emmett and Jasper's mouths dropped open at the same time.

_Woah! She's not wearing an over the shoulder boulder holder! (Guess who? EMMETT!)_

Renesmee looked like she was going to cry.

_WOW! BOTH MY PARENTS? I HATE MY LIFE._

Suddenly a van pulled up, and we heard two familiar voices.

"No you Carlisle!" tittered…. Oh no….. Esme?

"NO YOU HONEYBUN!" Giggled… oh no…. Carlisle?

In a hushed voice, I jerked to the convertible coming down the parking lot. Jasper kept on smiling, and the lust rang harder. Bella… boobs…. NO WAIT!!!

Bella… boobs…. OH COME ON!

Rosalie…. Boobs… WHAT THE HELL?

Alice…Boobs…..AGAINST THE RULES!

Mrs. Cope….boobs…. ????????????????????????????/


	7. emse carlisle

Carlisle POV

Finally! The kids had left the house and Esme and I could get some relaxing PEACE and QUIET. It was about midnight when my beloved came next to me.

"Carlisle… honey?" She said nervously, looking down.

"Yes, my love?" I asked, allowing love to enter my voice.

"Let's, find the kids… uh…. It's been a while." She said slowly.

What? I was just happy I DIDN'T KNOW where they were. Ugh. I shivered.

I turned around and found Esme already in my Mercedes. Oh come on!

She put it into drive, and I hopped in.

"Where to, madam?" I said, in a fake country accent.

"How bout' Dairy Queen?" She giggled, and put her hand in mine.

Score for Carlisle!

I drove, very fast may I add, to Dairy Queen. Why would the kids go here? I mean, they did no they couldn't eat right?

Right???

Wait. There is only one possible explanation for this.

Alice called a game of truth or dare, (her style, of course) and made Renesmee flirt with Greg. Jacob, of course, pounced on Greg and killed or put him into a coma. Next, Nessie dared alice to like some old guys feet. Of course that would lead to her picking Emmett. Emmett would admit the dirty thoughts he had had about other girls. Then, he would pick Bella, who would undoubtedly get drunk and want to go to Dairy Queen. After that, she would pick Edward, who would have to get horny.

Esme POV

HA! Carlisle thought I was worried. Nah, I just wanted to play Truth or Dare?

As we finally got to Dairy Queen, we heard a shrill "STOP IT JASPER!"

What the?

I lazily massaged Carlisle's back, and he held my hand. I pretended not to notice Edward right on the other side of the parking lot.

Wait, was he… um…. Trying to Not take his pants off?

I thought Emmett was the weird one.


	8. uh mrs cope?

Truth or dare ALICE STYLE

I don't own anything… =(

**Sorry, I've been in London the past 3 weeks, and haven't been typing!**

CARLISLE POV

Ok. I am pretty okay with weird in this family, but this was weird. Bella looked… intoxicated… and Edward looked…. Hormonal. I was about to turn to Esme and ask her if we could please… leave, she was gone. What? I looked everywhere to see her running to Alice.

Ahhh…… Esme wanted to play. Well, two could play that game honeybun. I walked onto the Dairy Queen grounds, smiling at the kids and my dumbfounded wife.

"Why hello everyone." I said slowly. I could feel the lust in this room. Weird. I looked at Jasper, one eyebrow raised. Was this his creation.

I could see Edward nodding frantically out of the corner of his eyes.

"Carlisle!" he hissed. "Tell him to cut it out."

He was dancing around, playing with his pants zipper and then slapping himself for doing it.

Bella looked creeped out and pleased, Rosalie just looked creeped out and Alice looked… well I don't know how Alice looked.

Ok, Edward looked too much in pain to keep this from going on.

"Jasper Whitlock Hale." I commanded, staring at him with fiery eyes. "Leave poor GIRLY Eddie alone."

"WHAT?" Edward yelled loudly and girily (In my opinion.)

Edward glared at me. "NUMBER ONE. I DO NOT SCREAM GIR LY, AND I AM NOT GIRLY. END OF DISCUSSION THANK YOU. OH YEAH. DON'T CALL ME EDDIE."

"Fine Eddie." Said Emmett, grinning slyly.

"Fine Eddie." Stated Alice

"Whatever you say Eddie." Said Rosalie

"I'm on your side Eddie." Giggled Esme.

"You've grown into a fine man Eddie." I said slowly.

"Eddie, are you sure you aren't cold?" Bella winked.

"No Bella, thank you very much for asking. Please do not call me Eddie. As for the rest of you. SHUT THE POOP UP!!"

"Why would I shut the poop up Eddie?" Said Mrs. Cope.

Wait…. MRS. COPE????

What on earth was she doing here. She was looking well… uh old… and her hair had uh… matured from red to grey. Oh god. Uh… how were we going to explain how we look exactly the same…

"How do you look exactly the same?" She rasped.

"Uh…" Emmett stuttered.. "Plastic surgery. Tons of it. Our family is addicted to it. Yeah, uh, Rosalie's about to go in for some liposuction. Uh huh, and all of us need another face lift."

Rosalie smacked him. Hard.

"Ow. He complained. "Oh yeah, Rose wasn't going in for liposuction. That was our little girly Eddie over here. "

"Really?" Purred Mrs. Cope. "I've always thought he was quite the puma.."


	9. u dont wanna no

Jasper's pov

"OH MY GOD!" Edward shouted, "I AM NOT THE PUMA! AND PUH-LEEZ STOP THINKING ABOUT ME AND YOU IN… oh god.. THE SHOWER!"

"Maybe we could act them out.." Mrs. Cope… whispered in his ear. "My wildest fantasies, just

Just for fun, I sent him waves of lust. =D

I watched as Edward went...hard. Bella's eyebrows went up as Mrs. Cope started undoing his button down shirt (.) and getting down on all fours and meowing.

"MRROW! MRRROWW! PET ME PUMA! I'M YOUR LITTLE KITTY!"

WTF? Why wasn't Edward stopping her?

Wait a second… I instantly sent such powerful love waves to him, he might have been blinded. I think he thought Mrs. Cope was Bella, and that they weren't in the dairy queen parking lot, but their nice quiet cottage on a steamy night.

One thing is for sure.

Mrs. Cope's old lady dress () was torn to shreds, and Rosalie wil be uploading a new youtube video

Very

Very

Soon.


	10. NOTICE

If you want to read more, read the sequel… SPOUSE SWAP!

The first and second chapter will be out today… eddie.


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